Not All “No’s” Are the SameBuy-in isn’t about pitching harder, it’s about listening better. By Hannah Baker Dear Reader, I hate the question “How do I get buy-in?” Not because it’s a bad question, but because it flattens something complex into a one-liner. It makes it sound like there’s a magic sentence you just haven’t found yet. Like all you need is the right slide deck, the right case study, or the right stakeholder charm to get a “yes.” But I hear it all the time from smart, motivated people trying to push for something that matters:
They say, “How do I get buy-in?” “How do I deal with friction I’m getting from this idea I believe in?” And more often than not, that friction isn’t about the idea at all. It’s about what’s around it. ResistanceIt might sound like:
But what it usually means is:
So instead of trying to push harder, you need to step back and ask:
What kind of resistance am I actually running into? 3 Types of Resistance (and What to Do)If you want real buy-in, stop pitching and start diagnosing. Here are the three most common types of resistance and how to respond to each. 1. Lack of Awareness
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“We don’t have time.”
This isn’t rejection—it’s triage. Your idea might make total sense, but when teams are underwater, they protect their focus. Everything sounds like extra.
Reframe your idea as a shortcut, not an add-on.
Do it if it’s low-risk, low-effort, and in your scope.
Don’t wait for permission to test something harmless.
Then say:
You’re removing the need for belief by generating a story. You're showing, not telling, that your idea is worth repeating.
“That’s not how we do things.”
This is about identity and control. When someone feels like you’re stepping into their territory or undermining their expertise, they resist, even if the idea is good.
It’s not always about arrogance. Sometimes it’s just protection.
Offer respect, not responsibility.
This keeps their status intact. You’re not asking them to approve or co-own, you’re giving them a heads-up and showing respect. That often shifts the energy from “No” to “Okay, I’ll hear you out.”
Buy-in isn’t about persuasion. It’s about precision.
Start by listening. Get curious. Don’t try to overcome resistance, try to understand it.
Once you know what kind of “no” you’re facing, you can respond with the right kind of yes.
Because getting buy-in isn’t about changing someone’s mind.
It’s about creating the conditions for someone to join you.
Thinking of turning this into a mini-guide, decision tree, or workshop prompt.
Let me know if that’s something you’d use; I’d love to explore it.
ONLINE WORKSHOP: Leading Effective Discussions COURSE: Facilitating Workshops COURSE: Defining UX Strategy |
Until next time!
The Fountain Institute is an independent online school that teaches advanced UX & product skills.
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